Amber - A New Chapter

It's been a long time. Too long. I can't say anything I have to say here is something I'm proud of. I suppose the phrase "history repeats itself" is the most appropriate. What I can say is I fell off the wagon. After I got my stellar test results, I no longer attended class the way I was. Happy Hours quickly replaced 90 minutes in a hot room. I went to a class here and there until I got pneumonia in January of this year. I had been able to keep most of the lost weight off and maintain my health until over 30 days of steroids. If you have never been on a steroid, let me tell you how the average day was for me. Wake up at 8 am, eat. Watch TV. 10 am, eat. Watch TV. Noon, eat. Watch TV... you get the point. This went on until 4 am for a solid week. Then I would reduce the dose of steroids and I got to sleep closer to midnight. They don't really warn you about the appetite part. Since I was also on breathing treatments 4 times a day, I couldn't exactly get off the couch and do much. I gained just over 30 lbs in that month of steroids. I had canceled my Bikram membership. I wasn't really doing anything. February, March, April, May... nothing. I tried the gym. I really hate the gym. So, I quit that. Fast forward a bit - It's October 31st. My brother proposes to his long time girlfriend Sarah. She says yes. Fast forward to the Sunday before last. She asks me to be in her wedding. There is no way I'm going to be the fat chick in my brother's wedding. Plain and simple. We all need a motivator, right? Personal health is the obvious. Secondary would be the pictures that he'll have for the rest of his life with me in them. So this past Sunday, I signed up for a month of Bikram.

Very much like my first week, it was hard. I couldn't do much of the class. I did sit down a few times. Since I had gained all of the weight back, my body is getting in the way of itself. Adds a small challenge to the asanas. Between class #1 and class #2 though - I was already improving. That has to be the coolest part of Bikram. The constant improving that is noticeable. I was re-reading my blogs... just a few here and there. My last memories are of course where I was after 6 months of continuous practice - not my first week. I have to keep remembering not to get frustrated if I can't do something I once could. I just need to remember that I can do it if I don't give up.

I started this week out to complete a 30 day challenge. Which I will do. There are going to be moments that I will not want to. There will be moments that I'm not feeling like it's worth it. There will be moments that the devil inside tempts me to do something else. Like I wrote in a previous blog - Don't listen to what the brain wants to do - listen to what the body is capable of doing.

I throw one more wise word out there for you - Focus on the consequence and not the action. For example, if you, as a smoker, wants a cigarette - you will have the cigarette. If you focus on what the cigarette does - short of breath, smells bad, makes you sick, lung cancer - then you won't touch the cigarette. Likewise, if you focus on just working out - you probably won't do it. BUT, if you focus on the way it makes you feel when you're done - relaxed, accomplished, one step closer to your goal, etc... You will get there every day. This is how I will do it.