Amber - What do you have to Lose?

I didn't go to yoga last night. It amazes me that the one day I don't go it seems I revert so quickly to bad habits... No, I didn't drink or smoke. Those habits I think are put to bed. I drank iced tea at lunch which would normally be fine, but I always have at least a liter of water in the morning before lunch and about 2 liters after lunch. I don't think I drank more than 16 oz of water all day! For dinner I thought I deserved a break. I've been working SO hard for more than 3 weeks. So, I didn't listen to my body - I listened to my brain. I believe the advice I had received said to do the opposite. I did have quite the amazing evening out. I saw a musical that I had never seen before with some of the most amazing people I know that I can call adopted family! Although, I think they adopted me and I just gladly accepted. Emotionally I felt like I was in the right place. Then I went out with a high school friend that has come back into my life. She has also gone through a lot of physical and emotional change and we are relating very well right now. She is a source of great support. I hope I can help her on the emotional side of her new growth. To the point that I was making, I did go to yoga today. It was rough.

Yesterday, I focused on the choice you make right now or today or tomorrow directly affects the next moment or day or week. It is a perfect series. Taking the night off of yoga was not the mistake, but taking a night off of everything I've been working on was. Even better is that I can learn from that and I now realize what I need to do.

I will not dwell on the negative impact of my choices because that does not mean the entire class was negative. It definitely started rough, but it finished the best it had. Every class I still progress and I have to challenge myself to reach outside of what is comfortable. I was able to grab both feet in the bow posture with no assistance like before. In fact I did it with ease. The instructor always guides you to grab your right foot and then your left from the outside. I wonder if I would more easily get into the posture if I grabbed my left and then my right. I am not sure if there is a reason we do one before the other or if it makes a difference. It seems that in Bikram everything is very methodical and I'm sure there is a reason. I am not going to question that or try and change anything, because to my earlier point - it would just be making it more comfortable or easy.

About the heat... the past 2 classes I've attended I almost felt chilly. I was still sweating - but not hot. This was not just at the end of class, but in the beginning, middle and end. The last class I felt this way I checked the temp on my way out, it was 101 degrees. Today it was 102 degrees. For those of you that have the main concern about how hot it is in the room, trust me when I tell you that it doesn't just become secondary it becomes non-existent.

In order to better myself and continue to grow, I have to reach outside of what's comfortable. I need to challenge myself to go a step beyond where I've been before. I have never been one to settle on anything. When I worked at Outback, I started as a host/take-away server and before I blinked I was working in the Regional Office. When I realized that Outback was not a life long career, I started the change. I had never worked in an software company before. I started as the receptionist and grew to working with HR and Marketing. When I was too comfortable there and the room for growth was not available, I moved on. I have continued to do that in my career never settling. I never seemed to do that in my personal life. I never stretched beyond what was comfortable. Never putting my feelings or my needs out there for fear of rejection. I was too scared of what might be to find out what is. In yoga, I am forced to go beyond what's comfortable. Sometimes it doesn't work, so I try again. The feeling you get when it does work, far surpasses the rejection I might have felt. To never try is only giving up on myself.