Amber - Who knew Bikram and Faith Hill went so well together?

Good morning! This blog is really going to be focused on those that are new to the practice. It is not that I am not new... because I am. Those of you just starting out are going to find that every class you learn and identify something new. You figure out that if you just hold your hand a little differently, you can do it. You learn that if you truly focus in your own eyes it is not about vanity but true meditation and balance. Today I had a new level of awareness. It is something I have heard since the first day I walked into the class. Today was my 29th class. It took nearly 30 classes for the most important and most simple message to sink in. Focus on your breathing.

I got the breathing exercises at the beginning and end quickly. I figured out in the back bend at the beginning that when I breath through it I don't struggle as much in it. I learned what 80/20 breathing meant only last week. I am going to take this blog and explain breathing.

Always, always, always... breath in and out through your nose with a relaxed face throughout your yoga practice with the exception of the breathing exercises that have very specific breathing techniques. This allows for very controlled focused breathing. I am sure there are more reasons, but we'll stick with the most obvious. Having a relaxed face doesn't mean you aren't practicing to your maximum potential. I think the relaxed face turns into a mind game. If you look like it's easy - it will become easy. If you look like your are constipated - you will always feel the difficulty. Think about when you are sick. You look sick, you feel sicker. Now, think back to a time you were sick and you put on makeup, you got dressed up, and instantly you felt better. You are looking at yourself nearly the entire 90 minutes. It is OK to lie to yourself for those 90 minutes and make it look easy! Holding your breath in a posture does your body a huge injustice. You need to maintain the breath to allow for the healing. If you don't breath - you don't oxygenate your blood and you don't gain the benefits. Let me define 80/20 breathing. At the beginning of the asana, take a full breath in. While you are holding and working through the position only use the top 20% of your lung capacity and breath in and out. Try it now - while you are reading this. It is best to practice while you are not in the "heat" of the moment. Empty your lungs. Now breath in for a slow count of 5. Hold it. Now breath out for 1 and breath back in for 1. That is 80/20 breathing. Simple concept - but hard to focus on.

OK - now when I say breath through it, I really mean breath through it. When you get dizzy or nauseous, change your focus. Just focus on breathing in and out. Slowly you'll forget you were dizzy. You won't notice you were nauseous. You will be in your posture. You won't even notice the uncomfortable zone. If you recall, I spoke frequently of not being able to do the Camel pose. The Camel pose is the pose you work the entire 90 minutes to do. It is the deepest back bend and the most beneficial to your spine and overall health. I always felt like I had deep cramps. It's the only way I know how to describe the feeling I had. I always went into it saying this was the time I was going to do it. Every time I failed. Today I said I was going to breath through it. So, I took a lung filling breath in. I used the top 20% of my lung capacity and that is all I focused on. I ended up seeing the back wall. Before I knew it, I heard "change."

After 29 classes, I am still learning the fundamentals of Bikram. I think in a year, I will pick up something that is so basic and so important that just didn't matter to me until then. They say when you get angry to count to ten. When you do that, you are just re-focusing. When you lose balance in a posture, it is often because you lost focus. When you need to re-focus, just breath. Look deep into your own eyes and breath. What you will learn about yourself in the process is only yours to discover. I will make this promise - you will be pleased with what you learn. Focus, Determination, Endurance, Commitment, Passion - But like Faith Hill says... "Just Breath"

Amber - Bikram is still a Challenge

Happy Easter to everyone! Since we last talked I have gone to yoga just about every day. I did miss Sunday, but that was to be expected. Last night was a bit hotter than usual. The instructor opened the door many times to try and bring the temperature down - but at the end of class when I was walking out - it read 106 degrees. It was ok to feel hot, because it was hot. I did make it through class without hesitation. I realized at the end of class that I did not wipe my sweat off once. I noticed I have quit doing that. Mind over matter... I got up for class again this morning. I feel like I barely sweat in class. I mean, it wasn't noticeable the amount I was sweating. My clothes were still wet when I was done - it just wasn't pouring into my eyes. I seemed to do really well on the floor exercises today. I think my leg went up to a 45 degree angle. I think I do better in the morning classes because I don't over think what I'm doing. It can be just as simple as lift your leg with a pointed toe. There is a catchy Mind over Matter saying that Reggie uses frequently... Of course right this moment I can't think of it. I will have to share with you later.

The biggest thing I've found difficult is working through the days I don't feel like going. I always feel better when I'm done. I always get into it after the first asana. Lately it is just hard to get myself motivated to drive there. I am still going and I am still seeing progress. My body is definitely changing and I'm still losing weight. In my core, I am lazy. While I'm working to change that, it still haunts me. I will relight that fire and I will have the energy again. In the mean time - I will keep going even if I don't feel like it.

Amber - Bikram yields results

I haven't been very diligent in writing this week. I have been going to yoga daily. I even went at 5:30 AM on Wednesday which I had taken off. I had a follow up appointment at my endocrinologist Wednesday morning. I have a severe Vit. D deficiency. This yields the same symptoms as depression and fatigue. It would make perfect sense. I'm sure that the deficiency gets worse in the winter months. You get a large portion of your vitamin D from the sun. This could be a contributing factor to SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder or Seasonal Depression). Doctors do not test for this frequently. I was diagnosed with SAD years ago. In turn I was put on heavy doses of anti-depressants because they don't work. Then it was decided that I have ADD. I don't question having ADD - but I am bothered that no one ever dug a little deeper into the SAD diagnosis. Especially when nothing was working. So, I am now on a prescription dose of Vitamin D. He said I should expect to see a drastic change in my energy level. We are retesting in 4 months. I can't wait to see how the test results come back. By then I will have had 5 months of yoga.

Last night I weighed myself... So many of you ask if there's an update on the number - well, I've lost 21 lbs. So, there is good news in all of this. My health problem is related to a vitamin that can be fixed. I've lost weight. I've quit smoking (one month yesterday). I've quit drinking. Will someone tell me why I now have high blood pressure? For the second time my reading was 135/93. I am supposed to periodically check it - like at the grocery store and such. If it is high in 4 months, I will have to go on medication for it. High blood pressure is a side effect of my ADD medication.

I signed up for my second month of yoga this week. Actually, I committed to a year. Achieving goals starts with identifying the goal, creating a map to get there, then committing. I had a goal of losing 30 lbs by my 30th birthday. With 3 months left until I get there, I only have 9 more lbs to go. After my birthday, I will probably make a goal to lose another 30 lbs by Christmas. I will still have 30 more lbs to go after that. I had another goal when I started this class. To be able to do the foundation of each asana by the end of the month. I have achieved that goal as well. Yesterday we were doing the Balancing Separate Leg Stretching, the goal is to eventually touch your forehead to the floor between your toes. I did it yesterday. Once you reach that goal - you bring your legs in closer together and start to work towards it again. (It is the 5th one from the end)

I can't wait to go back to class today. It is very exciting once you get something new. In yoga there are so many ways to measure health. In 4 months my labs will be a measurement. My weight has already been a measurement. I have still not pulled out a measuring tape to see how many inches I've lost. My flexibility and balance has improved exponentially. With every little step forward I make it builds my self confidence. Everyone around me thinks that I am confident enough - but I am also an actress. Perception is reality. As long as those around me perceive confidence, I must be. Well, I can honestly say - what I feel is catching up to what I project. Happy Easter to everyone! I wish everyone a very safe weekend...

Amber - Bikram is my journey

Where oh where have I been!?!? I did not make it to yoga on Friday. I got distracted at work at the end of the day. Next thing I knew it was after 5:30. The last class on Fridays is at 6:00 pm. I had no chance of making it there in time for warm-ups. I was there bright and early on Saturday at 8 am. I remember feeling chilly in class that day. I doubt it was any cooler in there than it normally is. The class went well. No major change. I went from there to Shamrockfest in DC. I am normally good about being sober around drunk people. There were a lot of drunk people. That would have to be a blog all by itself. I woke up the next morning planning to go to yoga - but my knees hurt. My knees hurt so bad I could barely walk. I am sure it was from my adventures the day before in DC. I made the decision to not go to yoga. On Monday, I still hurt. I just couldn't bare to miss another day of yoga. I went. The first 20 minutes hurt, but the rest seems to relieve the pressure from my knees. I probably should have gone on Sunday. They say the best time to go, is when you don't think you can. It is when you need it most.

My instructor yesterday was the same one I had today. After taking from certain instructors repeatedly, you learn their style. Some will open the door occasionally to let a quick breeze in. Some will adjust the humidity frequently during the class. I even had a class where the instructor turned the humidity off completely because of the amount of people in the class. In the morning class, the instructors rarely open the door. That class is made up of the truly committed I think. They are the students that thrive in the heat and may actually enjoy it. I would suppose I now fall into this category. I wouldn't say I enjoy the heat, but I have learned to appreciate the benefits. Today's instructor never adjusts the humidity. It is always set at the highest it should be. Sweat is supposed to by nature's way of cooling the body down. That may be why I feel the least hot in her classes. I notice I drink less water during the class when I am in a higher humidity class. I work very hard at following Ashley's advice and not wiping the sweat off. This is still very difficult.

My goal for the end of my first month was to master the foundation of each asana. My first month ends on Thursday. While I have not mastered them all - I am only short on 2. I am very pleased with my progress. I may just get those last 2 by Thursday especially if I go twice tomorrow which I am considering. Tomorrow is a very important day. It is my friend of nearly 25 years 30th birthday. I have known her longer than I've known almost anyone else. So I will begin the day just like any other Wednesday - but in the middle of the day - I will celebrate with her the last big milestone birthday for a long time. For those of you that seek inspiration in what I write - she has been a main source of inspiration for me. She decided early she wanted to be a lawyer, and she went to law school. She met the man she knew she was going to marry - and she is now married. She wanted to buy a house - and she found the perfect one for her and her husband. She wanted a clerkship with a Judge, but the whole time had her sights on a law firm she wanted to be a part of. She spent the year with the Judge, passed the bar, and is now an attorney at the law firm she wanted.

All success begins with a goal. Success is a journey that is ever-changing as the goals are achieved and re-set. She is the most successful person I know. She never stops working towards her goals. Once she reaches them, she starts working on something new. Yoga is that same journey for me. There are a lot of measurements. I can measure my weight, which has changed. I can measure my size, which has changed. Each and every day - I can measure my flexibility, balance, determination, focus... which improves each and every day.

Amber - Rules of Bikram

Rules of Bikram

1. Drink double the amount of water you are supposed to the day you take class.
2. Don't eat at least 2 hours prior to class and keep your meals light that day
3. Try to allow at least 10 minutes prior to class in the room to begin to adjust to the heat at a resting heart rate
4. Don't drink half of your bottle of water you have for class on your way to class when you are running late.
5. If you are late - still go to class, it's better than not going at all, but you will suffer for your tardiness.

I managed to break ALL 5 rules I listed above yesterday. I only drank one liter of water compared to the 3 I normally drink. I had some carrots and dip around 4 pm yesterday. I showed up to class a few minutes before it started. I drank so much water on my way to class I ended up walking into class late because I had to use the restroom. My heart was already racing when I walked in. They were half way through the first breathing exercise. I struggled breathing in for 6 counts and breathing out for 6 counts. My body didn't seem comfortable with the heat at any point. On the bright side, I never felt sick or dizzy. I was able to get through everything. I just felt everything. I collapsed after the class was over. I decided to shower there to try and get my heart rate down. No luck. I sat in my car for about 10 minutes before I drove away. I got home and sat on the couch for about 30 more minutes before I finally felt normal. I never felt bad - my heart was just racing. I think I was probably still burning quite a few calories when I got home.

Not every class I go to will feel great. I know that. I also know that every class I go to will yield improvement. That's what I'm ultimately after. There is a quote, "To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did." Two months ago, if I didn't feel like doing something, I wouldn't. I have almost been doing Bikram Yoga for one month. There have been many days I didn't feel like going, but I did. The rewards far out weigh the sacrifice. Put it into perspective. The day has 24 hours in it. There is no reason I can't spend 90 minutes of that 24 hours doing something I didn't feel like doing. It isn't that much time. The best part is, I came home to huge rewards. Jodi came over. We watched two of my favorite cooking shows. Then we stood outside and had the most amazing conversation that ended up lasting two hours. I had planned on picking up in the morning before work, but I spent 20 minutes before bed doing it. Every night I go to bed having accomplished something. Always more than I thought I was capable of. Things at home are being completed not just started. Things at work are being completed and not just started. There is a different focus and approach happening and the change I made was to give 110% to something I've never done before. I left my comfort zone and I don't feel the sacrifice any more. The change has become a lifestyle. The lifestyle has yielded a better mental state, better health, better sleep - a better me. The best part is, it's only been a month. Imagine what I'll feel in a year!

Amber - Bikram, 1555 Calories!

Let's just start by saying that doing yoga after 3 hours of sleep at 5:30 in the morning is like a baby deer trying to walk for the first time. I'll set the scene... I had an unexpected opportunity to see some very quality live music last night that couldn't be passed up. The band Junkfood opened for the Bret Michaels Band. Those of you who know me, are well aware of my deep love for Junkfood... So, when the opportunity presented itself, I had to say yes. We got home at about midnight, which is much better than I had expected. I couldn't fall asleep when I walked in the door, so it was about 1:15 or so before my eyes shut. My alarm went off promptly at 4:15 am. I got a text from Karen shortly after asking if I was up. I said yes, but that was a bold faced lie. I was laying in bed hoping she was going to bail so I could bail. Meanwhile, Karen was hoping I was going to bail so she could go back to sleep too. Instead, we met in Reston at about 5:15 and got started.

As I mentioned before, it was a rough start. It was a rough middle. It had a rough end. The important thing to take from this is at least it had a beginning, middle, and end. It beats the alternative of sleeping and not showing up at all. I still think it is better to go when you are tired and don't feel up to it, than not going at all. I still received most of the benefits the class has to offer - it just wasn't as ego boosting.

I don't have a great lesson today except - do what you are capable of, not just what you feel like doing. You are always capable of more than you give yourself credit for. It is mind over matter. It is the desire for the end result. I want the better me that I know is there... So with 3 hours of sleep - I still kept the goal in sight.

My friend sent me a link for a free calorie/activity tracker. Looks pretty cool. It calculated Bikram Yoga for my weight as burning 1555 calories. That's not a bad way to start a day, huh?

Free Calorie Counter my-calorie-counter.com

Amber - Prepared for anything!

Good morning and happy day 3 of this week. Yes, it is Tuesday and it is day 3. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read my last post. Since I last wrote, I have been to 2 classes. I left work yesterday at about 5:20 pm. I thought, I need a traffic less trip. I focused on that, called Benji to wish him a happy birthday, and then I was there. It only took 15 minutes! The power of thought. Normally arriving that early for class, I would have lots of time. Get changed, use the restroom, look at myself in the mirror a few times... I walked in, went to sign in and I was number 31 already there for the class! There were already 30 people and their mats down in the room. It was Monday and there was still 20 minutes before class which would mean another 30 people were bound to show up. So I went into the room with my winter coat on. Going into 105 degrees with a winter coat is far from comfortable. I put my mat down and a towel down to reserve a spot for Karen. Then I got changed.

The class was filled to the brim. It was hot. I was dripping during the first breathing exercise. I am not sure I can explain what was different, but the pace was quick. I held the standing bow the entire length without falling out. I didn't waiver on the balancing stick either. Everything just clicked. Without putting too much thought into what I was doing, I listened to the instructions and just did it. In an earlier class, the instructor was talking about a class he took with Bikram, himself. Bikram said, "For the next 90 minutes you will only do what I tell you. You will not scratch, adjust your clothes, or even take a sip of water unless I say." I felt like that's what I was in. It was great. Before the tree stand, Paul said, "Don't drink, let's just finish this." We did. It felt as if the class was 45 minutes, but it really was the full 90. I was drenched worse than I ever had been before, and it was GREAT!

This morning was a little difficult getting out of bed. I was so cozy. Regardless, I got the blood flowing and stood up. Took the dogs on a walk after I think I woke both of them up. I left at about 5:20 AM and took the back roads. $1 a day for tolls is starting to add up. Paul was the instructor again. How he can maintain the same energy from a 6 pm class to a 6 am class is pretty unbelievable. He warned us of the garlic he ate last night for dinner, but I didn't notice any garlic smell in the room. Debra did very well for it being her second class. I hope she keeps it up because I would love to observe someone else's progression. There are of course more reasons I hope she keeps it up, but that's my selfish reason.

My energy is high today. The smile is in full force. The work emails are already flowing in and they do not bother me. When I can get up and work my way through 26 asanas in 105 degrees, then I can certainly work through 8 hours of email and other people's business problems. My mind is set for success. My body feels great. My pants are a bit loose. My makeup looks great! I am ready.

Amber - It's Going to be a great week!

What a great day! I woke up to 2 dogs licking my face. I went to yoga a little early to meet my friend Debra who had decided to try Bikram for the first time. She managed to smile even though the first class is so difficult. With the heat and the confusion of which way does your hand go and what foot and right under left or was it left under right... Karen met me shortly after I arrived and we went into the class. I don't know what it was, but I woke up in a good mood and I knew today was going to be a good day. Class was great... really great. I never felt hot - I seemed to have a smile on all class. Karen and I shared each others mats for the triangle pose so our feet didn't slip. Rima got a little chuckle out of that one. The 90 minutes seemed to fly by. The power of thought - it really can change the whole day.

The day is not over and my weekend is not done... In fact let's change that thought. The calendar the way it is normally printed shows Sunday as the first day of the week and not the last. Most Christian faiths think of Sunday as the last day of the week - but why don't we start the week with a day off and end the week with a day off? So today is the first day of my week - and I have to say - it's going to be great!

Amber - Bikram is my Replacement

Since I last wrote I have been to two yoga classes. They couldn't have been more polar opposite of each other. Last night I arrived at about 5:50 pm. The class wasn't quite as full as other 6 pm classes. I got through the breathing and the initial warm-up. I got through the standing head to knee (which means I hold up my knee and stand on one foot) and then I don't know what happened. I was dizzy and sick to my stomach. I had to sit for what felt like 3/4 of the class. I was able to do some of the seated series but not much else. I have heard this can happen on occasion, but I had yet to experience it. There are a few factors that led me to this point I believe - I definitely didn't drink enough water. I traveled that day to Maryland for a lunch meeting and didn't bring a bottle of water for the car ride. Normally that would be ok. It only took me 45 minutes to get there. Of course, this is DC traffic, so it took me 2 hours to get back to the office. That was nearly 3 hours of no water. During the day I average about 16 ounces of water an hour. By the time I get to a 6 pm yoga class I am well hydrated and ready to sweat. Last night I just felt as if the sushi I had for lunch was cooking in my stomach. I never left the room though. I continued to sweat and work through it.

After yoga last night, I went to my friend Marilee's condo to watch "The Secret." It is not your average "self-help." It emphasizes the law of attraction and the power of thought. Have you ever had a morning where everything seemed to go wrong? Of course, we all have. It only takes one good thing to happen to change that cycle. The thing most of us don't realize is we have the ability to make that good thing happen by just thinking about good. I will not re-hash the stories it tells or the lessons it teaches. My reason for bringing this up is, although I had a rough night, I was able to have a great morning class. I went into class saying I will do well today, I will have a great class, and I will do something I haven't done before.

It is amazing when you change your thought from can't to can what happens. Reggie complimented my breathing, I got through my warm-ups, for the first time I was able to grab my foot for the foundation of standing head to knee, and I continued through the class without hesitation. Reggie made me laugh and I had a smile on throughout the entire class. The power of thought - the law of attraction - Whether I say I can or I say I can't - I am right. The choice is mine.

The amazing thing about the law of attraction is you are often surrounded by people of your like mind or state. Since I've made the choice to change my life, I have never been happier. Most of those around me are able to share in my happiness. Most of my friends have been supportive. There are a few that are not supportive and rather feel that I think I am better than everyone. I will tell you, I am not nor do I feel that way any day at any moment. I have tried to quit smoking many times before, this is the first time I have been successful - but I am only 3 weeks successful. I have tried to diet many many times before - but this is the first time I've been successful and it's only been a month. I have tried to work out consistently before - once again, this is the first time I have been successful and it's because I found something that is working for me. I try to share my excitement of what I have found because I only wish the same happiness for everyone around me. That doesn't mean my way is the way - it means I hope that maybe I can help motivate those to find their way.

Everyday we surround ourselves with stresses and negativity. It can be as simple as getting angry about the traffic, or angry about what a co-worker does or doesn't do, or what a customer has to say. It could be an unexpected delay in a project or an unexpected bill in the mail. Instead of spending time focusing on the stresses that are out of our direct control, why don't we spend just as much time celebrating the successes of the day. Tuesday through Thursday I start my day with yoga. Monday and Friday I end my day with yoga. The instructors talk about releasing the toxins from the body - but the biggest toxin I release is that in my mind. I am releasing the negativity, the stress, the problems that are out of my control and gaining clarity to change the things I can. Those changes become successes - Those successes become the very things I celebrate. I can control my diet by not focusing on what I shouldn't have, but all of the things I can have. I can control smoking with the help of a medication and a replacement of habit. I can control my work-out consistency, by making it a part of my schedule. If what Debra says is true that it takes 21 days to form a habit - well next Tuesday I have formed the habit of not drinking or smoking and next Wednesday I have formed the habit of including yoga in my life. Replacement.

Replacement starts as early as we all can remember. Well, even earlier than we remember I'm sure. I recall baby-sitting 2 and 3 year olds. There were times where one child wanted to play with the toy the other child was playing with. As opposed to just taking the toy away from one, I always offered a replacement. So while I'm still in the habit breaking stage - I have to focus on the replacement.

With change comes sacrifice - but if I don't focus on the sacrifice and only focus on the success - the change will become reality. It is like the heat that becomes un-noticeable over time as long as the focus shifts and the power of thought becomes life.

Amber - The Perfect Circle

I made it. It was my third day in a row getting up at 4:30 AM! Luckily it is also the last day this week that it is even an option to take a sunrise class. I mention sunrise because when I arrive it is dark. During the floor part, which happens the last 30 minutes, you can watch the sun rise during each Savasana. The Savasana is the "dead body pose" or as one instructor likes to call it the flying in the clouds pose. You lay with your head towards the front of the class and your feet towards the back. I can see directly out of the windows and I stare at the sky and trees. It is a glorious part of class because you do this in between each asana. It's a time to rest and reflect. It allows your body to absorb what you have just done. Normally, it is only about 20 seconds. As I've mentioned before, between the standing series and the floor series you take about 3 minutes and lay there. I am guessing on the time - but if feels like an eternity. I have not been able to master the art of relaxation in there. I get antsy and can't hold still. I'll have an itch or need to prevent a drip of sweat from going up my nose or in my eye. There is always something. At the end of class, there is a final Savasana. In this Savasana, the lights in the room are turned out and I can relax. The instructor comes around with a cold, wet, lavender smelling cloth for each student. Unfortunately during the sunrise classes, I can not take the time I would like during this final moment. Work is only an hour away from beginning and a shower is definitely in order. For the 2 minutes or so before I quietly get up it is pure heaven. My last moments before the reality of the day sets in.

During the evening classes I take about 10-15 minutes in the final Savasana. I lay there and let the weight of the day finally leave me. I never bring home my laptop during the week, so these days I truly leave my work at the office. There are pro's and con's to taking the morning vs. the evening classes and vice versa. For productivity at work, the morning class is the far better choice. Probably for my metabolism, the morning is the better class. For true meditation and relaxation, the evening class is the best choice. If only it weren't so crowded! It may be time for Rima to open up another studio or expand this one. The popularity can only be a good thing for the studio, but man it gets hot! It is a nice difference in the morning to have the room to spread out and not feel so close to everyone else.

Yoga is about individuality with one common goal. It is a meditation. It is organized and methodical. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. It is a perfect circle. The best processes in work, at home, in a story have these elements. They have one common effect - when the process is complete you have gained. At work you have completed a project or a sale. At home, it can be as simple as the cycle of the day. In a story you have gained a little more intellect for reading, even if it isn't a literary masterpiece. Who knows, maybe you are gaining a little right now... I know I am just by writing.

PS: Even if it is a small and trivial exercise, try and reflect every day on what you have gained. I do that every day right here. This is a new and very eye-opening experience for me. When I sit down and begin the daily blog - I don't know where I am going to go with the story. Every day for over a week now I have had a revelation about yoga and how it compares to life and what I can take from that. If we all reflect on the day - you may find your own revelations about your life and what you can take from it. I am just a student of life and learning every moment of every day about myself and others.

Amber - The Big Picture

Once again I decided to go to the morning yoga class. This morning it was at 5:30 AM. I woke up at 4:30 again. I took the dogs on the same walk I go on every day. I almost slipped and fell - clearly I did not have a mirror in front of me to focus on and balance. It's also hard to focus when you can barely open your eyes. I quickly changed and left the house at 4:45 AM. I had packed my bag the night before. I even remembered a hair brush this time. This morning was a small class. After taking all of the evening classes that had been hitting nearly 50 people it was so nice to spread out. I don't think there was a double row anywhere.

Class started promptly. I am SO close to being able to grab my foot on the standing head to knee pose. The standing bow posture I can normally hold. I may fall out of it once - today I seemed to have left my balance at home in bed. I normally dread the triangle pose, but today it seemed to work! The rest of the standing series went smoothly. I was going deeper into the stretches and it felt great. Today's instructor was the same one that assisted me about a week ago. She is so encouraging. (I'm not just saying that because I found out she reads this) She has great dialogue that keeps you going throughout. I am not sure how they have the huge energy they do at 5:30 in the morning. After about 30 minutes I'm right there with them - but I definitely didn't start that way!

Motivation, determination, focus, commitment, energy, passion, desire are all things that get you through the class. Aren't these the same thing you can apply to anything in life though? It makes it easier to do the things that take you out of the comfort zone when you can apply the aforementioned traits to the big picture. While Bikram is broken into 3 distinct parts made up of 26 asanas and 2 breathing exercises, it is one fluid meditation. It takes some of those things you don't like to get to the things you do like. I find taking the class in the morning is a perfect start to my day. I walk in to work more motivated and focused. I am far more productive. Even though I take a break every morning to write this blog - it re-focuses me on the life lessons I am learning through the meditation. Once again - the big picture. Ultimately, isn't that what this is about?

Amber - Distractions

I got up this morning at 4:30 am. Took the dogs on a nice walk - the weather is quite mild for March. I came back to the apartment, changed for yoga and left at 5:15 am. Yes, I went to the 6 am class today. If you notice in previous posts I said I feel better when I go in the morning. So I challenged myself to get up. I signed up for the 6 am class yesterday so I wouldn't make any excuses this morning. I showed up with one eye open, signed in, put my stuff down and went into the hot room. I refused to lay down for fear of going back to sleep. So I sat there and sipped on my water for about 15 minutes before the instructor walked in. When he walked in, I am not even going to sugar coat this, he took my breath away. The man should be an underwear model! Perfect teeth, strong voice, tan body, amazing build.... But, just like I had to do in class - I will change my focus to yoga.

Today's class was great. It was early so I didn't have much on my mind. There weren't that many people there compared to the evening classes so I didn't feel cramped in any way. The nice thing about a morning class is I am already relaxed when I walk in. I can go deeper into my postures. I leave feeling even better. I still can't seem to get passed the nauseous dizzy feeling going into the Camel pose. I have yet to really do that one. I feel like I have cramps and like I'm going to throw up. I took off my 80's sweat band today for the second set of Camel and I was less dizzy but just as cramped. While there are a few postures I still struggle with the foundation, this is the only one that gives me true angst.

I will probably be posting a second, but quick blog this afternoon. Today is the first month weigh-in for our office competition. I have almost 2 full weeks of Bikram and about 4.5 weeks of a diet. I haven't weighed myself since last Monday... The suspense is in full force!

Every day is full of distractions. It could be the great looking yoga instructor, or it could be the phone, or your email, or a person stopping at your desk. The key to success is focus on what is important. Pull yourself into the "zone" and greatness will follow close behind.

Amber - The Choice is Mine

It's Monday, the start of a new work week. I woke up today 30 minutes before my alarm went off. I have heard you need less sleep when you do Bikram. I have always "needed" less sleep then I choose to get. I have to say I had a great weekend. I got up every morning at about 7:30. I went to yoga at 10 am. I saw a great movie last night with the girls! Went grocery shopping after. Got home, worked on a project for mom and went to sleep at about 11:30ish. I found out this morning after I walked the dogs that my phone was in the living room. It is a good thing that I woke up, because my phone is also my alarm. It is a pretty great feeling to get up without one of those things. I feel like when I wake up with an alarm it is an interruption to a beautiful thing called sleep!

Yoga yesterday was far better than the day before. The class did feel a bit hotter but not bothersome. Initially I did not click with the instructor that led yesterday's class. In some ways, I'm not sure that I do now. I can respect his teaching style, I just don't feel that I'm ready for it yet. I suppose it is similar to management styles. Managers lead a group with different approaches - like the micro manager vs. the manager that steps back and comes in as needed. That's not to say either one is wrong. Just not for everyone. I am sure though, if I had him my first class - I don't think I would have come back. This was clearly destined for me though. The stars aligned or God stepped in - whichever you believe.

Divine intervention is an amazing thing. People come into your life when you least expect them. Situations happen that are unexpected that change your path. Partnerships emerge when you didn't think it was possible. For me, I had a doctor's visit that didn't go the way I expected. I made a choice to change my lifestyle and replace the bad habits with a good one. It is part of my perfect series. I am working very hard to make those changes. I write daily to remind me why I am doing what I am doing and where I want to be. Everyone changes in their own time. The catalyst is theirs to discover. What I can say is never change for someone else - do it for yourself. At the end of the day the reward is yours. On the days I feel like I take a step back, I know that step back is still above my first steps. No matter what, I have improved physically, mentally, and spiritually - but the journey has still only just begun.

Introducing . . . . the little brother's ex-girlfriend

Hello everyone,

My name is Ashley. I have been a practitioner of Bikram Yoga for the past four years. Amber mentioned me as one of the people who helped pique her interest in this incredible yoga practice.

But first, some background.

I am an actress, living in New York City. Just before I started incorporating Bikram into my life, I had some major personal upheavals. I was looking for something that I could count on, that would continually challenge me, and help me with the health problems I was dealing with. When I was 17 I was diagnosed with a cyst the size of a plum on my right ovary which needed immediate surgery. After the surgery I was left with 1 1/2 ovaries, four incision sites, a lifetime prescription of birth control and debilitating migraines that struck almost every day. O, and lets add a little more. I was never told to attend physical therapy, so my incisions never healed properly, and would give me some really intense pain that I can only describe as a 'pulling' sensation. I turned 20 with many of the same problems I had directly following the operation.

I needed to change something. Coming to the realization that you no longer have to live with your pain is a very interesting place. Whatever your pain is, in your knees, your back, your blood pressure, you heart, we as humans need to see that our pain is NOT what defines us, and letting go of it brings us closer to who we are then keeping it ever could. And I came to the point to let go of the bullshit. But how?

My dance teacher and a follow classmate at the time where both Bikram yogis, and they urged me to give it a try. I remember very little about my first class, other than the teacher was a man named Luke who was covered in tattoos and who remarked that I had a very flexible back. And I remember calling my mother right afterwards and saying, 'I think I like it.'

That first week I went back to class every day. I was hooked.

Since then I not only have become incorporated into the Bikram Yoga NYC family as a student and a studio sub manager, but my practice has become quite advanced. So much so that the owners of my studio are badgering me in earnest to take part of the Bikram Yoga Competition.

I will explain the competition some other time.

However, what is more, I no longer get migraines as often as I used to. As opposed to every day, I now get them maybe once or twice a month. I only get a pull from my scars once in a blue moon, but I still only have 1 1/2 ovaries. I am stuck with that one.

Bikram really changed my life. I am healthier, stronger and feel more myself then I ever have in my life.

A couple of things I would like to highlight from Amber's previous posts.

1. Not leaving the room.

The room is hot. I mean really hot. And, in all honesty, as a New York City Bikram practitioner and having take class in other cities I can safely say that the NYC studios are consistently the hottest studios. However, if you leave during class you are telling your subconscious that what you are going through is bad and wrong and it will be harder for you to stay next class. If you feel nauseous, light headed or overwhelmed, simply taking a knee or sitting down completely is perfectly acceptable. Just don't be lazy.

2. Wiping sweat off during class.

Amber mentioned in one of her blogs that she needed to constantly wipe off sweat. Hate to say, but doing that will only make you hotter AND make you sweat more AND dehydrate you faster. Your body sweats to cool off, and when you wipe off the sweat you body says, 'Shit, we have to cool down again,' and uses more of your water to sweat. My advice, LET IT FLOW! Enjoy the dripping!

3. Don't dwell on the negative.

Amber mentioned in her last post that she didn't go to class and she made some choices that could be considered as taking a step backward, but that she wasn't going to dwell on the negative. Everyone, including myself, should take this mantra and run with it, in the studio and out of it. One day off is not going to kill you. In fact, Bikram himself advises one day off. When you develop flexibility and change the muscles you are actually tearing muscles a little. Thats why your body hurts the day after a workout/yoga class/whatever. And your body does need time to absorb your work.

But I have strayed from my point.

You may feel like you are going backwards, but you are not. You achieve more on those crappy days when you push through the crap then on the days you feel like a rock star. So don't be hard on yourself on the crap days, and don't let yourself off the hook on the awesome ones.

Ok, I think thats all from me tonight (this morning?). Please post questions, I would love to answer them.

Namaste, my friends!

Axxx

Amber - What do you have to Lose?

I didn't go to yoga last night. It amazes me that the one day I don't go it seems I revert so quickly to bad habits... No, I didn't drink or smoke. Those habits I think are put to bed. I drank iced tea at lunch which would normally be fine, but I always have at least a liter of water in the morning before lunch and about 2 liters after lunch. I don't think I drank more than 16 oz of water all day! For dinner I thought I deserved a break. I've been working SO hard for more than 3 weeks. So, I didn't listen to my body - I listened to my brain. I believe the advice I had received said to do the opposite. I did have quite the amazing evening out. I saw a musical that I had never seen before with some of the most amazing people I know that I can call adopted family! Although, I think they adopted me and I just gladly accepted. Emotionally I felt like I was in the right place. Then I went out with a high school friend that has come back into my life. She has also gone through a lot of physical and emotional change and we are relating very well right now. She is a source of great support. I hope I can help her on the emotional side of her new growth. To the point that I was making, I did go to yoga today. It was rough.

Yesterday, I focused on the choice you make right now or today or tomorrow directly affects the next moment or day or week. It is a perfect series. Taking the night off of yoga was not the mistake, but taking a night off of everything I've been working on was. Even better is that I can learn from that and I now realize what I need to do.

I will not dwell on the negative impact of my choices because that does not mean the entire class was negative. It definitely started rough, but it finished the best it had. Every class I still progress and I have to challenge myself to reach outside of what is comfortable. I was able to grab both feet in the bow posture with no assistance like before. In fact I did it with ease. The instructor always guides you to grab your right foot and then your left from the outside. I wonder if I would more easily get into the posture if I grabbed my left and then my right. I am not sure if there is a reason we do one before the other or if it makes a difference. It seems that in Bikram everything is very methodical and I'm sure there is a reason. I am not going to question that or try and change anything, because to my earlier point - it would just be making it more comfortable or easy.

About the heat... the past 2 classes I've attended I almost felt chilly. I was still sweating - but not hot. This was not just at the end of class, but in the beginning, middle and end. The last class I felt this way I checked the temp on my way out, it was 101 degrees. Today it was 102 degrees. For those of you that have the main concern about how hot it is in the room, trust me when I tell you that it doesn't just become secondary it becomes non-existent.

In order to better myself and continue to grow, I have to reach outside of what's comfortable. I need to challenge myself to go a step beyond where I've been before. I have never been one to settle on anything. When I worked at Outback, I started as a host/take-away server and before I blinked I was working in the Regional Office. When I realized that Outback was not a life long career, I started the change. I had never worked in an software company before. I started as the receptionist and grew to working with HR and Marketing. When I was too comfortable there and the room for growth was not available, I moved on. I have continued to do that in my career never settling. I never seemed to do that in my personal life. I never stretched beyond what was comfortable. Never putting my feelings or my needs out there for fear of rejection. I was too scared of what might be to find out what is. In yoga, I am forced to go beyond what's comfortable. Sometimes it doesn't work, so I try again. The feeling you get when it does work, far surpasses the rejection I might have felt. To never try is only giving up on myself.