It's been a long time. Too long. I can't say anything I have to say here is something I'm proud of. I suppose the phrase "history repeats itself" is the most appropriate. What I can say is I fell off the wagon. After I got my stellar test results, I no longer attended class the way I was. Happy Hours quickly replaced 90 minutes in a hot room. I went to a class here and there until I got pneumonia in January of this year. I had been able to keep most of the lost weight off and maintain my health until over 30 days of steroids. If you have never been on a steroid, let me tell you how the average day was for me. Wake up at 8 am, eat. Watch TV. 10 am, eat. Watch TV. Noon, eat. Watch TV... you get the point. This went on until 4 am for a solid week. Then I would reduce the dose of steroids and I got to sleep closer to midnight. They don't really warn you about the appetite part. Since I was also on breathing treatments 4 times a day, I couldn't exactly get off the couch and do much. I gained just over 30 lbs in that month of steroids. I had canceled my Bikram membership. I wasn't really doing anything. February, March, April, May... nothing. I tried the gym. I really hate the gym. So, I quit that. Fast forward a bit - It's October 31st. My brother proposes to his long time girlfriend Sarah. She says yes. Fast forward to the Sunday before last. She asks me to be in her wedding. There is no way I'm going to be the fat chick in my brother's wedding. Plain and simple. We all need a motivator, right? Personal health is the obvious. Secondary would be the pictures that he'll have for the rest of his life with me in them. So this past Sunday, I signed up for a month of Bikram.
Very much like my first week, it was hard. I couldn't do much of the class. I did sit down a few times. Since I had gained all of the weight back, my body is getting in the way of itself. Adds a small challenge to the asanas. Between class #1 and class #2 though - I was already improving. That has to be the coolest part of Bikram. The constant improving that is noticeable. I was re-reading my blogs... just a few here and there. My last memories are of course where I was after 6 months of continuous practice - not my first week. I have to keep remembering not to get frustrated if I can't do something I once could. I just need to remember that I can do it if I don't give up.
I started this week out to complete a 30 day challenge. Which I will do. There are going to be moments that I will not want to. There will be moments that I'm not feeling like it's worth it. There will be moments that the devil inside tempts me to do something else. Like I wrote in a previous blog - Don't listen to what the brain wants to do - listen to what the body is capable of doing.
I throw one more wise word out there for you - Focus on the consequence and not the action. For example, if you, as a smoker, wants a cigarette - you will have the cigarette. If you focus on what the cigarette does - short of breath, smells bad, makes you sick, lung cancer - then you won't touch the cigarette. Likewise, if you focus on just working out - you probably won't do it. BUT, if you focus on the way it makes you feel when you're done - relaxed, accomplished, one step closer to your goal, etc... You will get there every day. This is how I will do it.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Bikram did change my health - I have the tests to prove it!
It's been two months since I've written and 6 months since I started. The last I wrote I had planned on a thirty-day challenge. While I would still love to do one, this was not the time. I have been out looking for a second job (much harder than I would have guessed) and working on the summer show. This is not to say that I haven't been going to yoga or living my clean and happy lifestyle. I just haven't been going as much as I would like. I have also learned that the teacher in the morning has a real impact on how well I do in class. In the morning, the teacher needs to have great energy in his or her voice. By nature, I am not energetic at 6 am. I am depending on inspiration to get me there. So, needless to say, I have not been going in the morning like I used to. Now, to get to the point of why I am writing...
Six months ago I reported that I had some bad test results that led to my lifestyle changes. My liver was fatty. One line of that test result was a 60 and the other was a 34. Both numbers were significantly out of normal limits and way too high. I knew then that there were two main causes of a fatty liver, obesity and alcohol consumption. While I could not fix obesity over night, I could control my alcohol consumption. This was not really a choice to me. If my abnormal test results were in my control to change - they needed to be changed. This was too much for some friends to handle while other people were overly supportive. In life, God gives you the tools to get through things. It is your job to recognize them and embrace the positive things and let go the negative things.
With that being said, my choices have yielded results even I could not have expected. I was sure that when I went to the doctor yesterday my numbers would have improved. Instead of just improving - they completely went back to normal levels. Both of the numbers that read 60 & 34 are now a 14! So with focus and determination, I have changed my health.
Six months ago I reported that I had some bad test results that led to my lifestyle changes. My liver was fatty. One line of that test result was a 60 and the other was a 34. Both numbers were significantly out of normal limits and way too high. I knew then that there were two main causes of a fatty liver, obesity and alcohol consumption. While I could not fix obesity over night, I could control my alcohol consumption. This was not really a choice to me. If my abnormal test results were in my control to change - they needed to be changed. This was too much for some friends to handle while other people were overly supportive. In life, God gives you the tools to get through things. It is your job to recognize them and embrace the positive things and let go the negative things.
With that being said, my choices have yielded results even I could not have expected. I was sure that when I went to the doctor yesterday my numbers would have improved. Instead of just improving - they completely went back to normal levels. Both of the numbers that read 60 & 34 are now a 14! So with focus and determination, I have changed my health.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Amber - New Year's in July
I will admit I have been bad about writing the past few weeks. I haven't even been that great about going to yoga. I still have been going, but not with the same drive I started. I have hit that "slump." On the plus side, I have just made it to the four month mark and I'm only 2 months away from having everything retested to see my progress.
I had this amazing energy when I had sodas cut out, I was going to yoga nearly every day, and I was drinking tons of water. Then Easter came and Lent was over, so I celebrated with a 2-liter. Just like that the Diet Coke addiction was back. I have also found a new appreciation for Chocolate. Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you that I don't eat chocolate. Now I crave it. So, I quit smoking because I wanted to. I quit drinking because I had to. Now I need to quit the sodas because it's the right thing to do.
Most of us struggle with giving up something that is a regular part of our life for even just the 40 days of Lent. I certainly have been known to cheat or not make it. It's only 40 days. Most of us try and give up something like candy. I don't know many people that eat candy more than once or twice a week - so that's really like giving up something no more than eight days. In Bikram yoga there are challenges. They recommend when you start yoga that you go for 30 days straight to really see the body changes and feel the total effects. Every once in awhile, they encourage regular practitioners to do a 30 or 60 day challenge. It's similar to Lent. It is a time that is meant to struggle for a period to be rewarded at the end. It is a sacrifice to give up that much time and energy to something. It is hard to remember why you are doing it and stay committed. The beauty is at the end it becomes a habit and the reward is your health. While you may not continue to go every single day, your practice is stronger. The similar thing happens when you truly sacrifice something in Lent. Every day the temptation reminds you why you are doing this and in turn your faith becomes stronger.
I am going to begin a 30 day challenge starting July 5th. This is the day after I return from vacation. It is the perfect way to start the second half of 2008 and the first month of my 30th year. It will be my New Year's Resolution.
I had this amazing energy when I had sodas cut out, I was going to yoga nearly every day, and I was drinking tons of water. Then Easter came and Lent was over, so I celebrated with a 2-liter. Just like that the Diet Coke addiction was back. I have also found a new appreciation for Chocolate. Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you that I don't eat chocolate. Now I crave it. So, I quit smoking because I wanted to. I quit drinking because I had to. Now I need to quit the sodas because it's the right thing to do.
Most of us struggle with giving up something that is a regular part of our life for even just the 40 days of Lent. I certainly have been known to cheat or not make it. It's only 40 days. Most of us try and give up something like candy. I don't know many people that eat candy more than once or twice a week - so that's really like giving up something no more than eight days. In Bikram yoga there are challenges. They recommend when you start yoga that you go for 30 days straight to really see the body changes and feel the total effects. Every once in awhile, they encourage regular practitioners to do a 30 or 60 day challenge. It's similar to Lent. It is a time that is meant to struggle for a period to be rewarded at the end. It is a sacrifice to give up that much time and energy to something. It is hard to remember why you are doing it and stay committed. The beauty is at the end it becomes a habit and the reward is your health. While you may not continue to go every single day, your practice is stronger. The similar thing happens when you truly sacrifice something in Lent. Every day the temptation reminds you why you are doing this and in turn your faith becomes stronger.
I am going to begin a 30 day challenge starting July 5th. This is the day after I return from vacation. It is the perfect way to start the second half of 2008 and the first month of my 30th year. It will be my New Year's Resolution.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Amber - To Pee or Not to Pee - PART 2
Yesterday was my 3 month anniversary. As I wrote about yesterday, it is important to challenge yourself and try something new. So, I had to pee... again. I thought I was doing well. I went at 2:30 pm. I went again at 5:00 pm. I'm in the 6 pm class, and I make it through the standing series. We lay down and all of a sudden it hits again. I think that I can make it like I did before. We roll over. I pretty much did nothing because it was just pressure. Finally I decide I can't take it any more and stand up to leave. I have decided that Reggie must read this blog because he instantly said to me... "Are you leaving MY class?" It's like he knew that it really bothered me to leave and wanted to just challenge me one more time to make sure I was making the right decision. I left. I came back in a moment later. I only missed one asana, but I felt like I was walking into the class for the first time at the half-tortoise. I was so disoriented. I can now advise firmly against leaving... even if you have to pee.
On another note, yesterday was great. Previously, I didn't appreciate Reggie's teaching style. I realized that I didn't appreciate him because he doesn't let me be lazy. He guided me through the triangle pose so I went deeper and stronger. When I got out of it, I had a sense of real accomplishment. It is amazing how our bodies work. Just when I think I have done all I can do, I went further. I did more. Sometimes we need someone to encourage us to do what we are capable of. At first you may get angry... but at the end you realize how great they really are.
Just as a small example, I will never forget the day my parents wanted me to go to Lurray Caverns with them. I was 15 or 16 years old. I had other plans in mind that day. I believe I had a boyfriend or someone else that I wanted to spend my day with. So I through a temper tantrum just like any other 15 year old girl would do. I crossed my arms and pouted that day. I was absolutely not interested in anything. I can stand here as a nearly 30 year old and tell you that I saw some of the most beautiful things that day. In my stubborn way I have never thanked my parents.
Just remember that people don't push you to do something because they want to be mean. They do it because they see something inside you that tells them you deserve more and can do more. My parents knew that I would appreciate what I saw that day. Reggie knows that I can do more in my practice than my mind thinks it can. In my stubborn way... this is my thanks.
On another note, yesterday was great. Previously, I didn't appreciate Reggie's teaching style. I realized that I didn't appreciate him because he doesn't let me be lazy. He guided me through the triangle pose so I went deeper and stronger. When I got out of it, I had a sense of real accomplishment. It is amazing how our bodies work. Just when I think I have done all I can do, I went further. I did more. Sometimes we need someone to encourage us to do what we are capable of. At first you may get angry... but at the end you realize how great they really are.
Just as a small example, I will never forget the day my parents wanted me to go to Lurray Caverns with them. I was 15 or 16 years old. I had other plans in mind that day. I believe I had a boyfriend or someone else that I wanted to spend my day with. So I through a temper tantrum just like any other 15 year old girl would do. I crossed my arms and pouted that day. I was absolutely not interested in anything. I can stand here as a nearly 30 year old and tell you that I saw some of the most beautiful things that day. In my stubborn way I have never thanked my parents.
Just remember that people don't push you to do something because they want to be mean. They do it because they see something inside you that tells them you deserve more and can do more. My parents knew that I would appreciate what I saw that day. Reggie knows that I can do more in my practice than my mind thinks it can. In my stubborn way... this is my thanks.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Amber - Bikram, One day at a time, 90 days later
I find it hard to believe that 3 months ago today my life changes started to begin. In some ways three months seems like a long time, but three months in nearly 30 years of life, is really just a small percentage of time. It's amazing to me how small decisions in life have a domino affect in just about everything you do. For me, it's changed friendships - some stronger, some now weaker. It's changed my level of appreciation for things. It's helped my patience, although some days I have to question that still.
I was folding laundry yesterday when I heard Joel Osteen come on TV. For those of you who don't know who he is, Joel is a Evangelist. While I do have faith, I am normally against this style of preaching. However, yesterday morning his message was one that I was able to connect with more than ever. He talked about God having a huge plan for us, but often we stick to a narrow path. We become creatures of habit. We only socialize with those of similar interests. We pre-judge opportunities to do something. We are quick to say, "I won't like that," before ever trying. He talked about small things like that path that he runs every day is the same. One day, he decided to turn the other way. It was an eye-opening experience, literally. He talked about getting out of the comfort zone and trying new things. He told story after story personifying his message.
Three months ago today, I went out of my comfort zone and so many things are changing. For me, it was Bikram yoga, no drinking, and no smoking. It was changing my lifestyle. Making my moments with people true memories and conversations. It's about getting beyond the surface and getting to know myself in the process. I believe that things happen in our lives for a reason. People enter and exit. Opportunities come and go. It is truly about the old Latin saying "Carpe Diem." I don't know what is in store tomorrow, but I do know that my decisions today will impact tomorrow. I am thankful I have let go of my fears of change because the world it has opened for me is amazing.
I would imagine that most people that walk into Bikram yoga for the first time, don't realize the impact it will make on them if they let it. I had no idea the first time I went in there that it would affect me the way it has. I had no idea when I signed up for that first month that it was going to become a lifestyle. I went in to work out and hopefully drop some weight. I read the testimonials on Bikramyoga.com. So one day at a time, Bikram yoga has changed my life.
Joel Osteen ended his sermon challenging everyone to try something new, to go a different way, to get uncomfortable. What will you do?
I was folding laundry yesterday when I heard Joel Osteen come on TV. For those of you who don't know who he is, Joel is a Evangelist. While I do have faith, I am normally against this style of preaching. However, yesterday morning his message was one that I was able to connect with more than ever. He talked about God having a huge plan for us, but often we stick to a narrow path. We become creatures of habit. We only socialize with those of similar interests. We pre-judge opportunities to do something. We are quick to say, "I won't like that," before ever trying. He talked about small things like that path that he runs every day is the same. One day, he decided to turn the other way. It was an eye-opening experience, literally. He talked about getting out of the comfort zone and trying new things. He told story after story personifying his message.
Three months ago today, I went out of my comfort zone and so many things are changing. For me, it was Bikram yoga, no drinking, and no smoking. It was changing my lifestyle. Making my moments with people true memories and conversations. It's about getting beyond the surface and getting to know myself in the process. I believe that things happen in our lives for a reason. People enter and exit. Opportunities come and go. It is truly about the old Latin saying "Carpe Diem." I don't know what is in store tomorrow, but I do know that my decisions today will impact tomorrow. I am thankful I have let go of my fears of change because the world it has opened for me is amazing.
I would imagine that most people that walk into Bikram yoga for the first time, don't realize the impact it will make on them if they let it. I had no idea the first time I went in there that it would affect me the way it has. I had no idea when I signed up for that first month that it was going to become a lifestyle. I went in to work out and hopefully drop some weight. I read the testimonials on Bikramyoga.com. So one day at a time, Bikram yoga has changed my life.
Joel Osteen ended his sermon challenging everyone to try something new, to go a different way, to get uncomfortable. What will you do?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Amber - To Pee or Not to Pee, that is the question
As you may guess from the title, I ran into a small problem yesterday. Traffic is always a pleasure in Northern Virginia. Rt. 28 was backed up as normal. Only yesterday I left about 5 minutes late to make the 6 pm class. To make up for the back up, I decided to try some back roads. Those of you that know me, know that I am queen of the back road. Well, I hit every light on my back roads. I got to class 5 minutes late. I changed and got into class just as they were starting the half-moon. I jumped right in. Then it dawned on me at the beginning of this 90 minute class... I have not used the restroom since 7 am. Then those thoughts began to consume me. I was being haunted by thoughts of rivers and waterfalls. I could see Ashley's message in her blog dancing in front of me saying "Whatever you do - don't leave the room." So I made it through the standing series. The standing separate leg, head to knee pose was a bit of a challenge. Actually anything that you have to suck in your stomach was a challenge. Oh that was every pose, in case you were wondering... On to the floor series... the first asana on the floor is where you lay on your back and bring up one knee to compress the ascending colon. Then you bring up the next knee for the descending colon. Finally you bring up both knees so you're like a ball to massage the transverse colon. You can call it colon all you want - but to a full bladder - it was like a water balloon about to pop! do not leave the room... do not leave the room... Next we roll over on to our stomachs - or protruding bladder - whichever you would like to call it. This is the spine strengthening series. Lift one leg, lift the other legs, lift both legs, lift your arms and legs so you are just on your belly, grab both your feet and roll forward... waterfall.... river... do not leave the room... Now I am within 15 minutes of class ending. I can't possibly leave the room now. So I just took it easy the last 15 minutes of class. I got through the final breathing exercise and I grabbed my things and darted out of the class.
I have one moral for this post - ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS, pee before class.
I have one moral for this post - ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS, pee before class.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Amber - Bikram is my Summer
It's funny now when I sit down and write, I almost have to re-read everything I've written just to make sure I don't retell the same stories. By re-reading what I write, I am just confirming just how far I've come. I've been in this slump. I think you, the reader, have probably felt that. It has been emotional and physical. It is in this moment I'm so thankful I started documenting this journey so close to the beginning. I have been able to find inspiration within myself to continue doing what I had set out to do.
Change can be something people consciously do, or it can be something that progressively happens without intent. It is like the seasons. We know that here in northern Virginia we will have all four seasons. It is a slow progressive change. I am relating my state to Spring. Some days are like summer, but others are like Winter. Some days are full of sunshine, while others are cold and rainy. I think we need these set backs to continue to move forward. Like anything, it is all how you deal with what is presented. I'm not sure if I have been handling my changes in the best way. Luckily I have good friends that are patient with this progression and they understand that this isn't easy for me either.
I've noticed that I have had more trouble getting up for the morning classes. I wonder if it partially has something to do with the inconsistency of my schedule. Ideally I would be able to take a 5:30/6 am class every day. Today was an amazing. I woke up right on time. Took the dogs for my normal walk. I had laid out everything last night. So I changed and realized I was super early. I watched about 15 minutes of Cops before I left to go to class. I arrived and got set up. It was nice to be in a quiet room. (I had gone to another studio over the weekend, and people were talking before and right after the class. VERY DISTRACTING!) When class began, I noticed I was more relaxed than normal. I started in the mindset to have a very strong practice. I held the standing bow the entire time the first set. I've done that before, but not consistently. During the floor series, my full locust pose I felt that I really went for it. I gave 100% right up until the end of class. It was very rewarding to know that in that class, I did the best I could for today. I can only hope that tomorrow I will at least meet or exceed today. I remember just a few months ago walking into my first class. I was only able to start about 50% of the postures. Now I am doing them!
As we approach my favorite season of the year, I will continue to work my way out of the slump I'm in. I ask you to challenge me. Remind me of how good I feel when I go. On those bad days, remind me that yoga, NOT Ben & Jerry's is the answer. Soon enough, we'll all be dancing in the sun!
Change can be something people consciously do, or it can be something that progressively happens without intent. It is like the seasons. We know that here in northern Virginia we will have all four seasons. It is a slow progressive change. I am relating my state to Spring. Some days are like summer, but others are like Winter. Some days are full of sunshine, while others are cold and rainy. I think we need these set backs to continue to move forward. Like anything, it is all how you deal with what is presented. I'm not sure if I have been handling my changes in the best way. Luckily I have good friends that are patient with this progression and they understand that this isn't easy for me either.
I've noticed that I have had more trouble getting up for the morning classes. I wonder if it partially has something to do with the inconsistency of my schedule. Ideally I would be able to take a 5:30/6 am class every day. Today was an amazing. I woke up right on time. Took the dogs for my normal walk. I had laid out everything last night. So I changed and realized I was super early. I watched about 15 minutes of Cops before I left to go to class. I arrived and got set up. It was nice to be in a quiet room. (I had gone to another studio over the weekend, and people were talking before and right after the class. VERY DISTRACTING!) When class began, I noticed I was more relaxed than normal. I started in the mindset to have a very strong practice. I held the standing bow the entire time the first set. I've done that before, but not consistently. During the floor series, my full locust pose I felt that I really went for it. I gave 100% right up until the end of class. It was very rewarding to know that in that class, I did the best I could for today. I can only hope that tomorrow I will at least meet or exceed today. I remember just a few months ago walking into my first class. I was only able to start about 50% of the postures. Now I am doing them!
As we approach my favorite season of the year, I will continue to work my way out of the slump I'm in. I ask you to challenge me. Remind me of how good I feel when I go. On those bad days, remind me that yoga, NOT Ben & Jerry's is the answer. Soon enough, we'll all be dancing in the sun!
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